Monday, July 26, 2010
Self Fulfilling Prophecy: The Beauty, the Good and the Ugly
6:34 PM | 
Posted by
Ray Park
A Self Fulfilling Prophecy (SFP) is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior. At least that is the Wikepedia definition of it. So, why did I want to talk about it? It's because I realized that our behaviours in our daily lives are heavily influenced by SFP through my own experience. I might have heard of the term a long time ago, but I didn't realize how much influence it had on my actions in the recent past. Along with this I also learned that SFP has its beautiful side, the good (or rather average) side, and its UGLY side, which I also believe to be the most common side among many people or at least it was for me.
So, to talk about Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, I want to start off with the Good/average. You see, SFP is not necessarily something that only happens to and influence specific people. It happens to everyone on daily basis, pretty much regardless of who you are. Even our body functions that way. Don't believe me? Ok, well let's take an example of eating breakfast. You wake up in the morning and you feel "hmm, I'm hungry, I think I should eat", and 15min later, you are eating your breakfast. Or maybe you wake up and you don't feel any hunger, and you think not eating until lunch time will be good enough, then you can go until lunch time without feeling any hunger, and without a doubt you'll skip breakfast. Sounds pretty stupid eh! But look at the definition of SFP, you set out a certain prediction of what's going to happen, and it actually happens! See this is the good side of self-fulfilling prophecy, because it's something that we do everyday, even with every small actions we take. That's obviously why I called it the average side as well. But, clearly SFP does not end here, otherwise I would not have set myself out to write this.
So, up next is the Beauty. A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy can be a wonderful tool, if you use it properly. You could achieve pretty much everything as long as you believe it's going to happen, unless it is something that defies the laws of physics (who knows, maybe you could even defy them). It was a couple of years ago, a friend of mine at the time texted me in the middle of a night, and told me he was going to do this "adventurous thing" that I wish to not get into specifics of on my blog. I told him that there was no way he could actually pull it off. But then he told me that it was going to happen, he could just see it happening. Then I told him, yet again, that it was an impossible task. Then he told me not to be a hater, and he also told me how people thought Neil Armstrong was crazy for wanting to go to the moon, but then he built a freaking rocketship and flew himself to the moon. That was pretty much the conversation ending message for me, I was just thinking to myself "he needs to go to bed". Now, the next morning, he told me he actually pulled it off, then he told me something along the line of "hahaha in your face sucka!". I was quite amazed, but until now, I still don't believe that he actually managed to do it, there was no way. The point I wanted to make from that story was not so much about my friend, but about what my friend said about Neil Armstrong. Yes, the story was not as simple as my friend's text to me - but the point is, that there were people who believed that something could happen, nay, something WOULD happen even if it was against all odds - then they landed human beings on the moon. What this tells you is exactly the beauty of SFP. If you have a strong belief that you WILL do something or you have a faith that something is going to happen, then, well, maybe it won't happen, but the chances are highly in favor of you pulling it off. That's what SFP does to you, for you.
However, on the other end, a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy can be your worst enemy and nightmare. This is the UGLY side! What's terrible about this is that, this is what happens to many people, a lot more common than the Beauty. You see, when I was running for the University Students' Council President at the University of Western Ontario. I did not really have faith in myself to win. Surprise! I was telling everyone that I liked my chances, and how it could be anyone's game at the moment and etc to put up my "politician's face". However, deep inside, I was thinking that I was probably not gonna win. That's the prediction I had made. Now, there were reasons behind - much later start to the preparation in comparison, just poor preparation in general and a few others. But, even before the election really started, I was rather discouraged. When the campaign period started, I felt like I was much behind other candidates and my confidence level, at least internally, went down really low. See, I had already lost the fight before it even really started, and I didn't even really try to put up a decent fight half way through the campaign period. The end result? I ended up losing the election, terribly too! This is a horrible impact SFP can have on your actions. There is another example, possibly even worse than my USC Presidential election experience - which by the way meant everything to me at the time. It's still hard for me to talk about it in detail, so I'll just put it this way. Not too long ago, I had lost [another] one of the most important things in my life, even more important now than I thought before I lost it. But to simplify the story, I lost this "thing" because of the ugly, ugly side of SFP. I was at the lowest point of my life, at least top 3 lowest points. Even when I had "it", I believed that I hadn't. I believed I was losing "it", so I pushed and acted in a way that was leading me to actually start losing "it". Then, next thing I know, I was losing "it" even more, because I was very sure that was going to be the final outcome. I even got to a point where I was like "Ok, I've tried my best, and if I'm going to lose "it", I'm gonna lose "it", it's out of my hand now." Then I just completely gave up. The end result? Of course I lost "it". The thing was, it was all in my mind from the beginning, then that forced me to act in terrible ways that was hurting both me, another party, and the "thing". If I look back now, I didn't "try my best", I didn't even try my worst, I just didn't try at all. This is when I realized that Self-Fulfilling Prophecy had become my own worst enemy.
The important thing to take out of is this though: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy can be your strongest weapon or it can be your internal weapons of mass destruction. In the end, it is up to you to decide which one it will be. The reason why SFP, more than often, becomes the latter of the two options, is because many people lack in self-belief. They lack in faith. Even the most confident person sometimes gets scared. But, when you have that self-belief and faith, then SFP can bring you wonderful things. Yes, it is a lot easier said than done. You are not gonna easily get to the point where you'd be able to freely control SFP in your favor, and take it away from screwing up your actions - unless you have a complete faith that you can do it ;). So, why don't you start from an easy stuff. When you wake up in the morning tomorrow, think 'today is gonna be a wonderful happy day!', and smile. The end result? More than often, you will have a fantastic day with bright smile on your face!!!
So, to talk about Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, I want to start off with the Good/average. You see, SFP is not necessarily something that only happens to and influence specific people. It happens to everyone on daily basis, pretty much regardless of who you are. Even our body functions that way. Don't believe me? Ok, well let's take an example of eating breakfast. You wake up in the morning and you feel "hmm, I'm hungry, I think I should eat", and 15min later, you are eating your breakfast. Or maybe you wake up and you don't feel any hunger, and you think not eating until lunch time will be good enough, then you can go until lunch time without feeling any hunger, and without a doubt you'll skip breakfast. Sounds pretty stupid eh! But look at the definition of SFP, you set out a certain prediction of what's going to happen, and it actually happens! See this is the good side of self-fulfilling prophecy, because it's something that we do everyday, even with every small actions we take. That's obviously why I called it the average side as well. But, clearly SFP does not end here, otherwise I would not have set myself out to write this.
So, up next is the Beauty. A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy can be a wonderful tool, if you use it properly. You could achieve pretty much everything as long as you believe it's going to happen, unless it is something that defies the laws of physics (who knows, maybe you could even defy them). It was a couple of years ago, a friend of mine at the time texted me in the middle of a night, and told me he was going to do this "adventurous thing" that I wish to not get into specifics of on my blog. I told him that there was no way he could actually pull it off. But then he told me that it was going to happen, he could just see it happening. Then I told him, yet again, that it was an impossible task. Then he told me not to be a hater, and he also told me how people thought Neil Armstrong was crazy for wanting to go to the moon, but then he built a freaking rocketship and flew himself to the moon. That was pretty much the conversation ending message for me, I was just thinking to myself "he needs to go to bed". Now, the next morning, he told me he actually pulled it off, then he told me something along the line of "hahaha in your face sucka!". I was quite amazed, but until now, I still don't believe that he actually managed to do it, there was no way. The point I wanted to make from that story was not so much about my friend, but about what my friend said about Neil Armstrong. Yes, the story was not as simple as my friend's text to me - but the point is, that there were people who believed that something could happen, nay, something WOULD happen even if it was against all odds - then they landed human beings on the moon. What this tells you is exactly the beauty of SFP. If you have a strong belief that you WILL do something or you have a faith that something is going to happen, then, well, maybe it won't happen, but the chances are highly in favor of you pulling it off. That's what SFP does to you, for you.
However, on the other end, a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy can be your worst enemy and nightmare. This is the UGLY side! What's terrible about this is that, this is what happens to many people, a lot more common than the Beauty. You see, when I was running for the University Students' Council President at the University of Western Ontario. I did not really have faith in myself to win. Surprise! I was telling everyone that I liked my chances, and how it could be anyone's game at the moment and etc to put up my "politician's face". However, deep inside, I was thinking that I was probably not gonna win. That's the prediction I had made. Now, there were reasons behind - much later start to the preparation in comparison, just poor preparation in general and a few others. But, even before the election really started, I was rather discouraged. When the campaign period started, I felt like I was much behind other candidates and my confidence level, at least internally, went down really low. See, I had already lost the fight before it even really started, and I didn't even really try to put up a decent fight half way through the campaign period. The end result? I ended up losing the election, terribly too! This is a horrible impact SFP can have on your actions. There is another example, possibly even worse than my USC Presidential election experience - which by the way meant everything to me at the time. It's still hard for me to talk about it in detail, so I'll just put it this way. Not too long ago, I had lost [another] one of the most important things in my life, even more important now than I thought before I lost it. But to simplify the story, I lost this "thing" because of the ugly, ugly side of SFP. I was at the lowest point of my life, at least top 3 lowest points. Even when I had "it", I believed that I hadn't. I believed I was losing "it", so I pushed and acted in a way that was leading me to actually start losing "it". Then, next thing I know, I was losing "it" even more, because I was very sure that was going to be the final outcome. I even got to a point where I was like "Ok, I've tried my best, and if I'm going to lose "it", I'm gonna lose "it", it's out of my hand now." Then I just completely gave up. The end result? Of course I lost "it". The thing was, it was all in my mind from the beginning, then that forced me to act in terrible ways that was hurting both me, another party, and the "thing". If I look back now, I didn't "try my best", I didn't even try my worst, I just didn't try at all. This is when I realized that Self-Fulfilling Prophecy had become my own worst enemy.
The important thing to take out of is this though: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy can be your strongest weapon or it can be your internal weapons of mass destruction. In the end, it is up to you to decide which one it will be. The reason why SFP, more than often, becomes the latter of the two options, is because many people lack in self-belief. They lack in faith. Even the most confident person sometimes gets scared. But, when you have that self-belief and faith, then SFP can bring you wonderful things. Yes, it is a lot easier said than done. You are not gonna easily get to the point where you'd be able to freely control SFP in your favor, and take it away from screwing up your actions - unless you have a complete faith that you can do it ;). So, why don't you start from an easy stuff. When you wake up in the morning tomorrow, think 'today is gonna be a wonderful happy day!', and smile. The end result? More than often, you will have a fantastic day with bright smile on your face!!!
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