Sweet Wisdom

People want to be happy. That's a simple straight up fact that no one can deny. You can go out on a street and survey 100 people, and ask them "do you want to be happy?", not a single person will respond with a "no". Furthermore, for the most part, a lot of things that people do in their life time relate back to, at least eventually, them being happy. But really though, how do you achieve happiness?

See, when I was younger, well actually, even up until recently, I used to believe happiness is something that just comes to you naturally. If you are meant to be happy, then you'll be happy - if not, then you won't be. That's just it. Or at least so I believed. But, I came to realize that's not true at all. As the matter of fact, if you want to be happy, you must learn how to be happy. After all, happiness is a state of mind, and only you can achieve it for yourself; it is all a matter of perspective. Let me tell you why this is the case.

Like I said before, I used to believe happiness is something that naturally comes to people. Sometimes that might seem to be true. You look around, you see people being happy when something good happens to them, or when they obtain something nice. For an instance, you just won a lottery for $1,000 - OMG you must be so freaking happy! Well, there's no denying them. But, that kind of happiness is just a temporary one, and it is not a true long lasting (or rather permanent) kind of happiness, which is what happiness is really all about. You are happy because you just instantly got free money, but what happens when you lose that money? Are you still happy? The answer probably will be, no. That goes same for all the other cases where happiness just "naturally" comes to you. You became best friends with this super cool dude, you are so happy. But times pass, and you guys drift apart and you are no longer friends, are you still happy now? Or what if you are happy because you were offered a nice job? But what if it's taken away.

See, different situations might bring or take away happiness to/from you. But at the end, it is your mind set that determines whether you are happy or not. It is not the situation itself, but it is the mind set you get under that situation that determines your happiness. At the end of the day, only YOU can determine your own happiness, no one or nothing else. Sure, there might be other people around you that make you happy, but it's because you allow them to make you feel happy. If you set your mind up that they are just annoying you, then even if they were trying, you'll still be annoyed rather than happy.

That's why I say you have to learn how to be happy, in order to be happy. How do you learn it? Well keep remind yourself to find good side in every situation or in every object, find something, even if it's a little thing, that'll make you happy. Let's use an example. Just a couple of days ago, I went to my bank, and I found out that I had been paying extra $8.50 per month for 10 months that I didn't have to pay. Of course I was upset at my bank. But, it was also my fault for not checking my bank statements. So, I talked to the clerk and she said that most refund she can make is for the past 90 days, so 3 months. I was like, "ok, well it's better than nothing". Then, she talked to her manager, and worked things out and actually gave me a refund for the past 6 months! I was actually really happy. When I walked out the bank, I was thinking "I could be happy right now or be upset right now, but let's just be happy." The thing was, I could've been all grumpy about that fact how I lost $34 for the 4-months refund I didn't get back. But, I chose to be grateful and be happy for the $51 I got back! The choice was up to me, and I CHOSE to be happy.

Of course, when you will often find yourself in tough situations where it's really hard to find any bright side. Or you might compare your life to someone else's and it just might not look as fantastic. But, with time and a little bit training of your mind-set, you'll be able to find true happiness that is within you. As my favorite ice-cream store's slogan says "Find Happiness Within". So, next time you get stressed out, perhaps try to write down what stresses you out, and also something that is at least, even a little bit, positive - and try to focus more on the positive points!